In the summer you're the winter
In the finger you're the splinter
In the banquet you're the stew
Say, I could do without you
In the garden you're the gopher
In the Levi's you're the loafer
Like an overturned canoe
Well, I could do without you
You an go to Philadelphia
Take a hack to Hackensack
Hey, I'll never ring a bell for yer
Or yell fer yer to come back
In the question you're the why
In the ointment you're the fly
Though I know some things are indispensable
Like a buck or two
If there's one thing I can do without
I can do without you
In the barrel you're a pickle
In the goldmine you're a nickel
You're the tack inside my shoe
Yes, I can do without you
In my bosom you're a dagger
You're a mangy carpetbagger
In the theatre you're the boo
I can do without you
You got charms they ain't bewitchin me
You've a face no one would paint
I got the darndest ich in me
To be wherever you ain't
In the bullfrog you're the croak
In the forest poison oak
Though I know some things are necessary
My halfpint buckaroo
If there's one thing I can do without
I can do without...
You're a knothead
You're a faker
You're a bonehead
Troublemaker
I can do without you!