Hello?
They say I might as well face the truth
That I'm just too long in the tooth
I started to deteriorate
And now I've passed my own sell by date
I am no spring chicken it's true
I have to pop my teeth in to chew
And my old knees have started to knock
I've just got too many miles on the clock
I'm a wrinkly, crinkly set in my ways
It's true that my body has seen better days
But give me half a chance and I can still misbehave
One Foot in the Grave
One Foot in the Grave
Hello? Yes yes it's Meldrew here. Yes, Victor Meldrew
Yes I've been holding
Look, I've been on hold for about half an hour
What more? I want to speak to someone
Not this five hundred times of someone singing have a nice day
What do I want? I want to complain
About what? About everything!
What do you mean you're closed?
Oh and the same to you!
So I'm losing my hair and my spine's a bit kinked
I may be rare but I'm not yet extinct
I'm an oldy, mouldy, too old to rave
One Foot in the Grave
One Foot in the Grave
Hello? Hello? Hello? I can't hear myself think!
Stop it! Will you turn off that bloody racket!
(I don't believe it!)
They tell me I am well past my prime
The landlord in the sky's calling time
But there's none thing that he ought to know
I am not yet ready to go
I know I'm old but I'm not a freak
I should be cherished like an antique
But everytime I have a slight cough
I'm frightened they'll start switching me off
So I'm a wrinkly crinkly but don't shed a tear
I'm not exactly a little old dear
But one thing's for sure I'm still bloody well here!
One Foot in the Grave
One Foot in the Grave
One Foot in the Grave
Hello? Hello?
Where the bloody hell's everyone gone?