Gilbert & Sullivan the sorcerer my name is john wellington wells

My name is John Wellington Wells
I'm a dealer in magic and spells
In blessings and curses
And ever-filled purses
In prophecies
Witches
And knells
If you want a proud foe to make tracks
If you'd melt a rich uncle in wax
You've but to look in
On our resident djinn
Number seventy, Simmery Axe
We've a first-rate assortment of magic
And for raising a posthumous shade
With effects either comic or tragic
There's no cheaper house in the trade
Love philter we've quantities of it
And for knowledge if anyone burns
We're keeping a very small prophet
A prophet
Who brings us unbounded returns
For he can prophesy
With a wink of his eye
Peep with security
Into futurity
Sum up your history
Clear up a mystery
Humour proclivity
For a nativity
For a nativity
He has answers oracular
Bogeys spectacular
Tetrapods tragical
Mirrors so magical
Facts astronomical
Solemn or comical
And if you want it he makes a reduction on taking a quantity
If anyone anything lacks
He'll find it already in stacks
If he'd only look in
On the resident djinn
Number seventy, Simmery Axe!
He can raise you hosts of ghosts
And that without reflectors
And creepy things with wings
And gaunt and grisly spectres
He can fill you crowds of shrouds
And horrify you vastly
He can wrack your brains with chains
And gibberings grim and ghastly
Then if you plan it he
Changes organity
With an urbanity
Full of satanity
Vexes humanity
With an inanity
Fatal to vanity
Driving your foes
To the verge of insanity
Barring tautology
In demonology
'lectrobiology
Mystic nosology
Spirit philology
High-class astrology
Such is his knowledge he
Isn't the man to require an apology
My name is John Wellington Wells
I'm a dealer in magic and spells
In blessings and curses
And ever-filled purses
In prophecies
Witches
And knells
And if anyone anything lacks
He'll find it already in stacks
If he'd only look in
On the resident djinn
Number seventy, Simmery Axe!