i've had my pet since i was nine years old i loved him and fed him
but one day he attacked i knew he didn't love me back so i grabbed
him like a football and punted fifty yards now i hate pets take
yourself to the vet now i hate pets dolphins trapped in little nets
now i hate pets you little fucking screaming shit-bag i should of let
your mother eat you,
little fucker so i got a little birdy and i trained it everyday he
knew 1000 words but then he flew away but then i got him back the
fucker wouldn't shut his trap so i took him to the bathroom and
rubbed his beak in shit now i hate pets spotted owls in their nests
now i hate pets bagged a deer and made a vest now i hate pets birds
and bees and bears and bison pigs and
parrots and pandas i fucking hate them all!
i was walking through the park when a snake peered from his hole a
perfect opportunity to take the bastard home i chopped his fucking
head off with my handy garden hoe and made a
lovely hat-band for my redneck cousin bo, heee-haaw!
now i hate pets 10,
000 volts to the chest now i hate pets fed my cat some cigarettes now
i hate pets you little fucking screaming shit-bag
bastard fuck you, you fucking pig-shit licker, fuck!