LOCKSTOCK: Well, hello there. And welcome – to Urinetown!
Not the place, of course. The musical.
Urinetown the place is…well, it's a place you'll hear people referring to a lot throughout the show.
PENNY: You hear the news? They carted Old So-and-So off to Urinetown the other day.
BOBBY: Is that so? What he do?
PENNY: Oh, such-and-such, I hear.
BOBBY: Well, what do you know? Old So-and-So.
(BOBBY and PENNY set up their workstation, placing the table beside the entrance to the amenity as THE POOR begin to rise.)
LOCKSTOCK: It's kind of a mythical place, you understand. A bad place. A place you won't
see until Act Two. And then…? Well, let's just say it's filled with symbolism and things like that.
(THE POOR sing the Urinetown theme on an ooh ever so softly as they prepare for another day. LITTLE SALLY enters, counting her pennies.)
LOCKSTOCK: But Urinetown the musical, well, here we are. Welcome. It takes place in a
town, like any town…that you might find in a musical. This here's the first setting for the show. As the sign says, it's a public amenity, meaning public toilet. These people have been waiting for hours to get in; it's the only amenity they can afford to get into.
(LITTLE SALLY approaches LOCKSTOCK)
LITTLE SALLY: Say, Officer Lockstock, is this where you tell the audience about the water
shortage?
LOCKSTOCK: What's that, Little Sally?
LITTLE SALLY: You know, that water shortage. The hard times. The drought. A shortage so
awful that private toilets eventually became unthinkable. A premise so absurd that –
LOCKSTOCK: Whoa there, Little Sally. Not all at once. They'll hear more about the water
shortage in the next scene.
LITTLE SALLY: Oh. I guess you don't want to overload them with too much exposition, huh?
LOCKSTOCK: Everything in its time, Little Sally. You're too young to understand it now, but
nothing can kill a show like too much exposition.
LITTLE SALLY: How about bad subject matter?
LOCKSTOCK: Well –
LITTLE SALLY: Or a bad title, even? That could kill a show pretty good.
LOCKSTOCK: Well, Little Sally, suffice it to say that in Urinetown (the musical) everyone has
to use public bathrooms in order to take care of their private business. That's the central conceit of the showww! (He sings.)