Off my meds, fell out of bed
Out of work since Russia was red
Holes in my socks, allergic to clocks
Spent the rent; a hundred per cent
Hey….I'm running late for my date at the Bureau
Some Day….I'm gonna make ‘em real proud
Over at the Bureau, they're feeling my pain
All the free-thinkers sing the same refrain
They're so clever at the Bureau of Whatever
My jacket of leather, offended Heather
Assistant to the Deputy Compliance Director
Heather says pleather will feel much better
She's never wrong in that tight white sweater
Hey….they love the guys like me at the Bureau
Yeah… we know how to make ‘em feel good
We can be all they want us to be
Putty for the smokin' hot PhD's
They're so clever at the Bureau of Whatever
Dressed up for my first date with Heather
She told me that we need to work together
Put me on the couch and we got down to it
Told her some stuff but she already knew it
Hey….Sometimes I think about the good old days
No…. The Bureau says they weren't so good
Together with Heather and I'm never alone
She gives me sweet direction in that NPR tone
Best friends forever at the Bureau of Whatever
They're so clever at the Bureau of Whatever
The Bureau of Whatever
Doesn't get much better
At the Bureau of Whatever
Whateverrrrrrrr