I've been going out with a girl*
Her name is Julie
But last night she said to me
When we were watching telly
(this is what she said...)
She said "listen John I love you
But there's this bloke I fancy
I don't want to two time you
So it's the end for you and me."
"Who's this bloke?" I asked her
"Gordon", she replied
"Not THAT puff!", I said dismayed
"Yes, but he's no puff!" she cried - "he's more a man than you'll ever be..."
Here we go, two three four
I was so upset that I cried all the way to the chip shop
When I came out there was Gordon standing at the bus stop
And guess who was with him
Yeah, Julie, and they were both laughing at me
Oh, she is cruel and heartless
To pack me for Gordon
Just cos he's better looking than me
Just cos he's cool and trendy
But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron
Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron
Here we go, two three four
She's a slag, and he's a creep
She is a tart, he's very cheap
She is a slut, he thinks he's tough
She is a bitch, he is a puff
Yeah yeah, it's not fair
Yeah yeah, it's not fair
I'm so upset
Yeah yeah, it's not fair
Yeah yeah, it's not fair
Yeah yeah, it's not fair...
She's a slag, and he's a creep
She is a tart, he's very cheap
She is a slut, he thinks he's tough
She is a bitch, he is a puff...