B: Princeton?
P: Yeah...
B: Listen, buddy, nobody's seen you for two weeks! What's up with that?
P: I went to work for a temp agency, and they fired me for being too depressing on the phone. I maxed out my cards, I'm two months behind on rent, I totally messed up my personal life, oh and Brian! I still haven't found my purpose.
B: Alright, get off your ass and stop worrying! Everyone's getting together to mess around the city today!
P: Have fun...
B: When I say everyone, that includes you!
There is life outside your apartment
I know it's hard to conceive
But there's life outside your apartment
And you're only gonna see it if you leave.
There is cool shit to do, but it can't come to you, and who knows, dude, you might even score!
There is life outside your apartment,
But you've got to open the door!
P: No thanks, I'm stayin' in.
B: Don't tell me I've gotta force you...
P: Sorry!
B: Alright everyone, he's resisting!
ALL: There is life outside,
There is life outside,
There is life outside!
There is life outside your apartment
There's a pigeon squashed on the street
K: (Ew.)
B: There's a girl passing by,
N: No I think it's a guy,
And a homeless man who only wants to buy something to eat!
Sorry, can't help you...
We could go to the zoo!
T: Pick up girls at NYU
P: We could sit in the park smoking pot!
K: Or not!
There is life outside your apartment,
P: Well I guess I'll give it a shot!
There is life outside your apartment,
I know...
CHRIST.
There is life outside your apartment...
I'm gonna jump!
Don't do it!
Okay...
There is cool shit to do but it can't come to you, so come on...
Get outta the way asshole!
Fuck you!
There is life outside your apartment!
Oh you never know what's around the bend,
You could win the lotto or make a friend
Take her home to see your apartment
L: Do you wanna feel special
I can see that you do (do do do wow)
Well I can make you feel special...
If you let me feel you (she'll feel you)
Where's your pad?
P: Not too far
We could call you a car
P: We'll be fine, thank you, see ya
C: Hope you don't get gonorrhia!
There is life outside your apartment...
But now it's time to go home!
Time to go home!
Time...
But now it's time to go home!
T: For porn!