The line of shadow the fog that I see in front of me for the first time in my life I find myself knowing what I am leaving and not being able to imagine what I find they offer me an assignment of responsibility to take this ship towards a route that no one knows is it's my age in mid-air in this condition of precarious stability hypnotized by the blades of a fan on the ceiling I toss and turn on my bed I move with a heavy step in this humid room of a port whose name I don't remember the bottom of the coffee confuses the where and the how and for the first time I know what nostalgia is emotion in my luggage dirty navigation clothes for every tear a port for every port in my head a song it's sweet to be at sea when the others to take charge without worry, just do what needs to be done and lulled by the nocturnal wave, dream of their mother... the sea.
They offer me a position of responsibility they told me that a ship needs a captain they told me that the pay is interesting and that the cargo is secret and important the thought of responsibility has become big it's like having to jump over a ditch that divides me from the carefree times of a past that has passed jump towards the indefinite time of being an adult in front of me the fog hides from me the answer to my fear what will I be where I am will my nature lead? My father's face takes shape in the mirror, he is young, I am old, his words echoing inside my ear there vita non è facile ci wants sacrifice and day the it is you will notice e mi will say with to reason the day comes when you have to make a decision and now it's this monsoon day with the wind that has no direction looking at the sky a sense of oppression but it's my age where you know how you were and you don't know where you are okay, what will it be, what responsibility do you have towards the human beings who live next to you and through this glass I see the world like a chessboard where every move I make can change the entire game and I'm afraid of being eaten and I'm also afraid of eating I get lost in reading, the books of Zen and the Gospel the astrology that tells me the sky I float in search of a self with whom I can dialogue but this line of shadow doesn't let me meet. They offer me a position of responsibility, I don't know what courage is, whether to pick up and drop everything, whether to choose escape or face this reality that is difficult to interpret but beautiful to explore, try to imagine what I will be when I have crossed the sea and brought this important load to its destination where I will be sheltered from the next monsoon they offer me a responsible position tomorrow I will go down to the port and tell him that I am ready to leave I will throw my luggage into the sea I will study the papers and wait to find out where we are leaving when we leave and when the monsoon will pass I'll say lift the anchor straight ahead this is the course this is the direction this is the decision.