Everybody wants a reason for everything.
Itâs so much easier with someone or something to blame.
Iâve always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?
Iâve never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess thatâs why Iâve always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And I guess thatâs why it haunts the pages of everything-
to self-examine.
I think the thing is that I shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.
Self-defeating? Yeah, probably.
But I donât know that I had total control over it.
And Iâm not sure it even matters why.
Sometimes things happen and you canât do anything.
Plus, Iâm the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
just put their fingers down
Iâd-and keep your mouths-
Sorry. I know I seem angry.
Iâm not, Iâ¦I promise. I just know I did this to me.
And I will deal with it accordingly.
And I donât need opinions from those never a part of it.
Donât need them pointing out my problems, theyâre mine.
Donât need reminders, I know better than anyone.
And yeah, I know, I should be finding another way.
I know that I should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.
So I havenât been.
Do I feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think youâd probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
wouldnât you?
I know I shouldâve moved on ages ago, been happy already,
but itâs never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.
I know Iâve only ever tried a handful of times
to sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no loverâs bed worked.
But looking back I maybe never tried hard enough,
and it is my fault.
Maybe I never tried at all
- :
- Wildlife
- Never Come Undone (Split)
- Here Hear III (EP)
- Miscellaneous
- Rooms Of The Houses
- Thirteen
- Tiny Dots
- Rooms of the House
- Vancouver
- Soundsupply La Dispute Tour Drop
- Paste Sampler 134
- Daytrotter Session
- A Comp for Mom
- BBC Maida Vale Session 2014
- For Mayor in Splitsville - Single
- Stay Happy There - Single
- Stay Happy There
- Whatever Nevermind
- Searching For A Pulse/The Worth Of The World
- Searching For A Pulse / The Worth Of The World