Captainâs on a holiday
First Mate has gone away
And Dataâs down in engineering for repairs
Dr. Crusherâs got a cold
Wesleyâs only twelve years old
And all the other children are mind controlled
Who will lead the crew? What are we to do
When the enemy ship comes into view?
When the pressureâs on who will take the con?
Geordiâs visorâs on the blink
Deanna Troi is on the brink
OâBrienâs been reassigned to Deep Space Nine
Barclayâs on the Holodeck
Tashaâs dead and Roâs a wreck
Garibaldiâs not on Star Trek
Who will lead the crew? What are we to do
When the enemy ship comes into view?
Whoâs to be obeyed when the Borg invade?
This is just what I was afraid of
Mr. Worf comes through
Mr. Worf will lead the crew
Mr. Worfâs our man
Mr. Worf will take command
I was hoping for someone else and Iâm not just thinking about myself
Iâm afraid for all our lives if Worfâs in charge of the Enterprise
We wouldnât care: if Dataâs cat was in power weâd follow her
If we received our orders from Nurse Ogawa weâd say,
âYes, sir!â
Werenât you the one who pointed your gun
At the viewscreen and you tried to stun
The grinning image of Q, what were you trying to do?
I seem to remember that was you
Mr. Worf donât get mad
Youâre the best Klingon weâve ever had
But Mr. Worf you must see
We need a different kind of security
Weâre glad youâre strong and brave
But weâd prefer a captain who fears the grave
Our standards arenât that high
We only ask that we not die
[Rapping]
âI am a Klingon, and in my point of view
It would be dishonorable to cower like the rest of you
I have the ridges of a warrior, I do not fear death
I deposed the House of Duras with a flourish of my Batleth
Star Fleetâs only Klingon, Iâm a full Lieutenant Commander
Iâve got two dead wives and a son named Alexander
No matter what I am equal to the test, Iâll kill them all before I maim the rest
So be it Romulan Warbird or a cargo freighter, Iâll fire phasers first and ask questions laterâ