Pausini Laura
The Things You Live
I'm Sorry
Mom, I dreamed that you were knocking on my door
a little tense and with foggy glasses,
you wanted to see me well and it was the first time,
I felt like you knew how I missed you.
And you hugged me while you marveled
that I was sad and almost breathless,
It's been so long since we've been hugging
and in the silence you told me...I'm sorry!
But a noise was enough to wake me up,
to cry and to make me come back
br/>to those days when as a child you took care of me
where in summer sky and beach came together.
While with my old doll I listened to you
the stories that you told me every night you counted
and when I was little you cuddled me
and asleep in your lap I dreamed.
But at sixteen I felt how I changed,
and how I really am now I saw myself,
and I felt so alone and so desperate
because I was no longer the daughter I wanted.
And it was the end of our trust
of the small talks that helped so much,
I hid behind a cold impatience,
and you wanted the son that was denied to you.
And I spent the day without returning home
I couldn't stand your sermons at all,
and I began to become jealous too,
because you were almost unattainable, so beautiful.
And I abandoned my dream to lack of luggage,
I threw my heart into the sea in a vessel,
I even lost my memory due to lack of courage,
because I was so ashamed to be your daughter.
No, no , no, no, no.
But you didn't knock on my door,
uselessly I had a dream that cannot
come true,
my thoughts are so full of the present
that my pride does not allow me to forgive myself.
But if you knocked on my door in another dream,
I would not be able to pronounce a word,
you would look at me with your very severe gesture
br/>and I would feel more and more alone.
That is why I am in this very confusing letter,
to tell some peace in what I think,
not to complain to you or ask for excuses,
It's just to tell you, mom...I'm sorry!
And it's not true that I feel
ashamed,
our souls are so equal, so similar
br/>I will wait patiently sitting here,
I love you so much mom...write to me...your daughter.