These cold days make my knees start to shake, because I know that winterâs coming, and I canât ever catch a break. Itâs like I canât live past the memories of the things that happened to a younger me. And as they pile up, Iâm losing sleep, Iâm losing touch. I just want the past to stay still and for me to move on. And for the longest time I wanted problems I could fix just to overcome them because I needed a win. But even a premeditated victory is asking way too much of my sanity. And I dug a grave when I was feeling weak but revisited that hole and filled it with concrete because Iâm not on the ground quite yet. Iâve got high hopes for the life that I live. I write my name in the wet cement, saying thank you for the hope, but Iâm much better where I am. We all know Iâm getting through this year. And itâs everything that makes me feel weak, like my lack of self-esteem, or the reminder of mistakes Iâve made. But Iâm playing music, and I have no doubt that all I wantâs to make a life of letting my emotions out. I could take my car and drive it off a bridge, and the only thing thatâs been stopping me is the slightest will to live. Iâd rather stay asleep then live in regret. Iâd rather remember all my flaws then ever have the chance to forget that I dug a grave, when I was feeling weak, just to revisit it and fill it with concrete. Because Iâm not on the ground quite yet. We all know Iâm getting through this fucking year.