Come gather round friends from all ends of the earth
I'll give you the dirt for what it's worth
They said it wouldn't work, they said it wouldn't work
But this is the ballad of railroad jerk, this is the ballad of railroad jerk
There was a lot of fast talk on the slow track, man
And when my baby took off she never did come back
We got a ten million dollar record contract
I swear I nearly had a heart attack
Well the wind was blowing from the north to the south
And we caught ‘em talking out of both sides of their mouth
From the corporates head down to the mrs uptown
I tried to get all the big shots to calm down
You know genius only comes to a chosen few and we are no exception
Raised on television
Goodbye Monday, hello Tuesday
They said it wouldn't work, they said it wouldn't work
But this is the ballad of railroad jerk, this is the ballad of railroad jerk
Well, hellfire and brimstone, my mind is on the grindstone
I got myself ready for the shit to hit the wall
And the tenth annual top ten video masquerade ball
I put on my slouch hat, my boots, and my sack dress
And some rougue and some lipstick and some polish for practice
I pushed my old handtruck down the old dirt road
I may have been complete, but I was not sold
They said ‘play Glamorous Bitch one more time'
My friends all have credit cards, but I have been denied
Then I heard them singing beneath the pale sky
They said ‘I'm so lonesome, I could cry'
You can't scare me, I'm half crazy
They said it wouldn't work, they said it wouldn't work
But this is the ballad of railroad jerk, this is the ballad of railroad jerk
When the loser went AWOL we took him off the payroll
We lowered him down to the tune of a drumroll
We wiped away the slate, we took away the plate
We thought we were solid up on top of the hill
But we found out it was really only landfill
So when the bars all close and the subways are cracking
And the party that you went to just wasn't really happening
When the lights are dim and the shades are drawn
And the national anthem on TV just went on
And you find that the blind are just killing the blind
And you don't wanna be one of those kind
Well, don't despair because they said it wouldn't work
With that look on their face and that smirk (smirk)
Yeah, that's what they told us, but I knew it would work
And you can find my name on the tail of my shirt
They said it wouldn't work, they said it wouldn't work
But this is the ballad of railroad jerk, this is the ballad of railroad jerk