Being gay can be a problem, it's true
But being straight can have its problems too
I met this girl and she's just great
But the problem is that I am straight
You ask: How can this be?
Listen and you will see...
She's got that style
She's got that smile
She's got the talk
She's got the walk
She's got that zing
There's just one thing
She has a penis
She's got that flair
Knows what to wear
She's got that face
That girl is grace
She's got pizzaz
Too bad she has
A penis
She's got a penis
Now nobody's perfect, I must admit
Say, how many times do all the pieces fit?
She's got more going than most other dolls
Oops, I forgot about the balls...
But she's so hip
This babe's a trip
She's distinguée
She's got cachet
She's quite a dame
Ain't it a shame
A crime that's heinous
Those lips, those eyes
And big surprise
That penis
There's always some failure, always some flaw
Ain't that what they call Murphy's Law
But male genitalia, that's where I draw the line
Besides, hers is bigger than mine...
She's got class
She's got that sass
She's got that chic
She's got mystique
She's smooth, she's hot
She's got the lot
Except a mound of Venus
It's a tragedy
But where that should be
She's got a penis
She's got a penis
My life's a mess
Cause under that dress
She's got a P-E-N-I-S