I felt like a worthless child that needs to gain faith
And I keep a straight face âcause it hurts to smile
Countless times of runninâ away, I had an upbringing
Of tough living, and my motherâs to blame
Was never far from crime, drugs and vandalism
My father died quite young as a cancer victim
My heart was broken, thatâs when I started smokinâ
âCause I couldnât take the thought of my father goinâ
It forever scarred my mind
Then my teenage years as a delinquent was some of my hardest times
Had to leave the past behind as my time to grow
Decided to come to the church and try and find a home
And as time passed, began going down the right path
Life starts again and so I found my kind heart
This life I chose, I crossed my heart and promised
That my relationship with God would always last the longest
Iâm gaininâ my faith, and Iâm losinâ the pain
I make my own destiny and Iâm choosinâ my fate
And I pray that God has mercy on my soul
Yeah, I pray that God has mercy on my soulâ¦
And Iâm losinâ my faith, but Iâm gaininâ the pain
The end is near, now I just wait for the day
And I pray that God has mercy on my soul
Yeah, I pray that God has mercy on my soulâ¦
I spent most of my life trying to guide souls to the light
Along the way I lost my faith and my devotion in Christ
Haunted by the darkness of doubt, closing my eyes
Have I followed teachings of a book totally blind?
Who truly wrote the first editions?
Am I living by the Lordâs words of wisdom or a work of fiction?
I canât honestly serve religion
When as a priest, Iâve gradually lost trust in all church tradition
My test of faith and as an educated man
Canât believe God created everything in seven days
Will I pass through Heavenâs gates and reach a better place?
When Iâve accepted money from the poor in my collection plates
And the exceptionâs for a Catholic priest
Cold as the heart of man and deafening the sound of chattering teeth
Transformed from a man to a beast
Or at least a bit of rantings of a victim to the cancer disease
Excerpt from Blade Runner (slightly altered):
âIâve seen things you people wouldnât believeâ¦
All those moments will be lost in time⦠like tears in rain⦠time to die.â