We can take a trip to China
But we will not the cross sea
There's always a chinatown where
Chinese people tend be
Our cultures are so different
At least that's how it seems
But it took a chinese waiter to remind me of one thing
Chinese waiter, we are all the same
Chinese waiter, we love chicken chow mein
Chinese waiter, bring us more jasmine tea
Chinese waiter, cuz love's all we need
Chubby Buddhas laughing
At cat clocks on the wall
So many paper lanterns
The size of basketballs
I wish that you could be here
Bear witness to the sight
Meet this chinese waiter, full of wisdom and light
Chinese waiter, when u come around
Chinese waiter, best service in town
Chinese waiter, bring us another round
China waiter, make Confucious proud
Ain't no takeout spot with the bulletproof glass
This be straight family dining, high class, u know
So, why you wanna order General Tso's?
Its all the same & everyone knows
No matter where you go, any ghetto chinese shop
You can find that slop, if u wanna plop down the cash
I recommend the lamp chop with black pepper & lemon grass
Chinese waiter, South Central LA
Chinese waiter, San Francisco Bay
Chinese waiter, bright lights on Broadway
Chinese waiter, your local chinese buffet
And for my favorite dish
Chinese waiter gets fresh fish
Puts a gun between its lips
Pulls the trigger, but it ain't dead
Tries to run, but don't get far
Bleeds all over the bar
But Chinese waiter he just laughs, hits it with a shotgun blast
Chinese waiter