Solstice Coil human again

It feels strange
To be human again
To crawl out of this static cocoon
I am very creative
With my back against the wall
I am sure
I'm completely uncertain
Trying to diminish what's real
I am very courageous
When playing this out in my head
You spoke of the future
And I had to nod
While playing this out in my head
In my mind we're no longer together
In my mind we're already apart
It is always about me
And I always make the journey back
The first square has been waiting
For me to return to my throne
You spoke of the future
And I had to nod
While playing this out in my head
You spoke of the future
And I had to nod
For the lack of a better plan
In my mind we're no longer together
In my mind we're already apart
I should have been writing
Operas in your name (instead of pausing my existence)
I should be breaking down
As we speak
I should have been laughing
In the face of danger (instead of choosing the obvious)
I've played with my emotions
While you were waiting
For a handout
I should have been writing operas in your name
I should not have waited