You make-believe celebrities
Taking bows in front of me
In your dickey-bow ties
In your dickey-bow ties
Pick your nose beside the stage
Jesus Christ has come of age
So you've had a good cry
So you've had a good cry
Reach out, there's people in the stalls
A Blackpool season isn't very small
Reading commercials on TV
Is just as good as a bad Page 3 revue
We all know it's so hard for you
We all know it's so hard for you
In the dressing room you find
Telegrams with good luck lines
So nice to be known
So nice to be known
The curtain falls so that's the end
You hit the bottle once again
So you've had a good crowd
So you're one of the crowd
Reach out, there's people in the stalls
A Blackpool season isn't very small
Reading commercials on TV
Is just as good as a bad Page 3 revue
We all know it's so hard for you
We all know it's so hard for you
We all know it's so hard for you
We all know it's so hard for you