Sworn In pins and needles

I can't think straight
So don't wait up for me
I think I'll probably be late
I'll just count to three
1, 2, 3 GO!
I couldn't care less
Past the point of distress
With a mind full of stress and a body to undress
Nothing else matters
Cause nothing's real in this mess
I digress
I want to caress your skin so I'll give it my blessing darling
I've learned a lot from my stay in hell
I've learned I don't have a story to tell
Because when things become too much
When love turns to touch
Self-destruction is my crutch
Give me pins and needles
I'm tearing myself apart
Give me pins and needles
I'm playing my part
And this pain is only the start
I promise I am romantic I swear
But I don't have to be fair (don't have to be fair)
It's one sided this time
So I walk this line
Between safety and sanity
Who am I meant to be?
I've learned a lot from my stay in hell
I've learned I don't have a story to tell
Because when things become too much
When love turns to touch
Self-destruction is my crutch
Give me pins and needles
I'm tearing myself apart
Give me pins and needles
I'm playing my part
And this pain is only the start
Still wishing I was dead
So I'll poison myself
Too much beauty I suppose
These stories in my head are all I can compose
But as myskin turns pale
My eyes just stay shut
Filled them with pins and needles all for what?
Filled them with pins and needles all for what!?