I got a buer that works in Dillons in the back of me Vauxhall Viva,
She had massive melons and I wanted bang her beaver,
She had real bad breath and a touch of the pox,
But I ripped off her bags and her sweaty socks,
And I Rattled my 'tatoes against her dirt box.
Spread your legs and get your knickers down.
Spread your legs and don't make a sound,
I'm God's gift to women in this fuckin' town,
So spread your legs and get your knickers down.
She said I was good looking
And I looked a bit like George Michael,
But she didn't want a fuckin' she were on her menstrual cycle,
So I gives her a lift down to Sandbats.
She after some grub, she were on the cadge,
So I got some meat and stuffed it up her vag.
Spread your legs and get your knickers down,
Spread your legs and don't make a sound,
I'm God's gift to women in this fuckin' town,
So spread your legs and get your knickers down.
It were a messy job, but I kept my shirt on.
A penny round collar that I got from Burton's,
And I got a good taste of her Bird's Eye big curtains...
Spread your legs and get your knickers down,
Spread your legs and don't make a sound,
I'm God's gift to women in this fuckin' town,
So spread your legs and get your knickers down.
(Repeat
- :
- Miscellaneous
- Dirty C. D. Chips ’n’ Gravy
- An Orifice and a Genital: Out-Takes 1986-1991
- The Macc Lads Anthology
- Twenty Golden Crates / An Orifice and an Genital
- Beer & Sex & Chips n Gravy
- Live at Leeds (The Who?) / From Beer to Eternity
- Beer & Sex & Chips n Gravy / Bitter, Fit Crack
- From Beer to Eternity
- 20 Golden Crates
- Twenty Golden Crates
- Twenty Golden Crates (Best Of)
- Ugly Women & Even Uglier Songs
- Eh Up! Macc Lads
- Best of Anagram
- 20 Golden Crates (Best Of)
- An Orifice And A Genital
- Live at Leeds (The Who?)
- Bitter, Fit Crack
- The Lads From Macc