Well, in this life there's a couple of certs,
One is death and the other's a nurse,
Well Lucy's old and they say she's passed it,
But I gave her one and her tits were that big,
And they said bollocks and they're made of plastic,
And that I never touched her,
That's just bagshit.
Lucy Lastic, we shagged everywhere,
On the washer in the kitchen and twice on the stairs,
Did you fuck? You're making it up.
Well I got a red pint round the back of our house,
Are you sure you want to play with my little red mouse?
I found his tail right up Lucy Lastic,
The Russians are coming, this is drastic.
So I closed the curtains and I sat on her belly,
There was dogfood in her clevage, forgot about torn welly.
Lucy Lastic's got a great back,
Two pounds of tripe just to take up the slack.
Was there fuck, you're making it up.
Lucy Lastic we shagged in a skip.
Dead cats in her knickers, tea bags on her tits.
We did it in a snowdrift in Wilderclough,
But Lucy Lastic was loose enough,
Lucy Lastic were loose enough,
Lucy Lastic were loose enough,
Lucy Lastic were loose enough.
- :
- Miscellaneous
- Dirty C. D. Chips ’n’ Gravy
- An Orifice and a Genital: Out-Takes 1986-1991
- The Macc Lads Anthology
- Twenty Golden Crates / An Orifice and an Genital
- Beer & Sex & Chips n Gravy
- Live at Leeds (The Who?) / From Beer to Eternity
- Beer & Sex & Chips n Gravy / Bitter, Fit Crack
- From Beer to Eternity
- 20 Golden Crates
- Twenty Golden Crates
- Twenty Golden Crates (Best Of)
- Ugly Women & Even Uglier Songs
- Eh Up! Macc Lads
- Best of Anagram
- 20 Golden Crates (Best Of)
- An Orifice And A Genital
- Live at Leeds (The Who?)
- Bitter, Fit Crack
- The Lads From Macc