You may think that the Baudelaires
Ought to prevail
And be tucked some place
All safe and sound
Count Olaf captured
And rotting in jail
His henchpeople nowhere around
But there's no happy endings
Not here and not now
This tale is all sorrows and woes
You dream that justice
And peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes
You might think that two parents
Both brave and both true
Would live till a nice ripe old age
But I'm sad to say
I have bad news for you
The curtain rings down on the stage
Yes, there's no happy endings
Not here and not now
This tale is all sorrows and woes
You might dream that justice
And peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes
I once loved a girl
And she thought well of me
We thought we'd be happy together
But now I'm alone
As you can well see
And she's cold in her grave forever
There's no happy endings
Not here and not now
This tale is all sorrows and woes
You might dream that justice
And peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes
The world is pair
Of ill-fitting pants
And other dire hideous clothes
You may think that three children
Would lead pleasant lives
But that's not how the story goes
Some people smile
At the end of the day
Some people laugh, I suppose
But to me there's nothing
But gloom and despair
That's just how the story goes
That's just how the story--
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