Your love for me is not debatable
Your sexual appetite's insatiable
You never ever make me waitable
Delectable, inflatable you
You don't have problems with your weight at all
You never steal food off my plate at all
I never have to masturbate at all
Unstoppable, inflatable you
You never seem to menstruate at all
So you're not angry when I'm late at all
I feel permanently felatable
Unpoppable, inflatable you
With you in my arms I feel we could just fly away
With the right kind of gas I might even try it some day
In this ocean of life I'm never afraid I might drown
We could just float forever whatever the weather
Whenever my inflatable lover's around
Your thighs and buttocks are so holdable
You always do what you are toldable
And if we argue you just foldable
Controllable, consolable you
My mates all reckon you are suitable
I took you 'round to watch the football
And Steve and Gary said you're rootable
Commutable, refutable you
You're never sensitive or tickly
When I rub you my skin goes prickly
It's known as static electricity
Felicity when I'm kissing you
Your skin is so smooth – I couldn't afford you with hair
You have all the holes real girls have got plus one for the air
Your problems are simple, I don't need my Masters in Psych
To know if you get down I just perk you right up
With a couple of squirts from the pump off my bike
You never wake up when I snore at all
A trait which I find quite adorable
You have a box and you are storable
Ignorable, back-doorable you
Any sexual position's feasible
Although you don't bend at the knees at all
Your hooters are so firm and squeezable
Increasable, un-creasable you
You don't complain about my hairy back
Or 'bout the inches that downstairs I lack
You're not disgusted by my furry crack
…Burt Bacharach …Jack Kerouac …ooo
Now birth control is not an issue
I clean it all off with a tissue
I bet my jealous friends all wish you
Were insatiably, inflatably theirs
Don't let me down
Don't let me down
Don't let me down
And I won't let you down