Tony Norwell
Miscellaneous
I'LL have To Go On A Course
I’ll Have to Go On A Course!
One day I went to B&Q to buy some DIY gear,
And as I arrived at the trolley park – I read on a sign so clear:
‘Before you pick up a trolley, please read the notice carefully
That’s by the main door over there – for everyone to see.’
I’ll have to go on a course – to learn to do it, of course!
I wouldn’t dream of having a go – until I’ve found out all there is to know!
I’ll have to go on a course!
I’ll have to go on a course to trolley safe round B&Q;
I’ll have to learn to drive safely – in case I bump into you!
Learn all the stopping distances and signals I’ll have now to know –
So everything is safe, now, off on a course I will go!
I bought a woodcutter from Argos - that looked to me quite good –
To save my old arms and shoulders and to cut up some firewood .
But I found the instructions for it were as long as they could be!
To use it quite safely now I’ll have to go on a course to see!
I’ll have to go on a course, to learn how to use it safely;
I’ll have to count all my fingers when I stop for a cup of tea!
Learn how to use it safely and not cut any bits off of me -
So all is safe, now, I’ll go on a course for it eventually!
I went to meet my girlfriend as she finished work for the day
She went to kiss me on the cheek as she is wont to do in her way!
But I told her that as yet I was unskilled in arts such as this -
I’ve not been on a course yet to learn properly how to kiss!…
That night as we lay in bed chattering about the day just passed
I was about to nod off when her hands went a-wandering at last –
‘EEyup!’ I cried; I shouldn’t do that – not just yet anyway…
I’ll learn to do it – I promise - I’ll go on a course one day…
I’ll have to go on a course – to learn to do it, of course!
I wouldn’t dream of having a go – until I’ve found out all there is to know
I’ll have to go on a course!