Umbrellas help

This is not what I thought it would be
it's not what I need.
I'm losing, I'm losing control today
you're quiet, got nothing to say
Muscles they tighten and constrict
I hope i don't suffocate
Hope i don't suffocate myself to death?
This is not what i thought it would be
It's not what i need
It's not what i thought it would be
It's not what i need.
I need a touch, I need a strum
I think maybe i need some help.
It's not what i thought it would be
It's not what i need
It's not, no it's not what i need
It's not what i need.
It's not no it's not what i need
It's not what i thought it would be.