Vacant Home knife s edge

I am so drained,
I call out and I can't hear your name
My pulse through the roof
Was this all in vain?
Hot flashes, cold sweats
Where will I find you next?
Thoughts flood into my head
I've woken up to an empty bed
Hot flashes, cold sweats
Where will I find you next?
thoughts flood into my head
Please don't tell me you left me here again
Just don't go back there again
Walking on a knifes edge
To keep the blades at bay
Hoping for a time that they'd just crack and rust away
Silence makes the mind wander
Distance makes the body weak
Tell me you're alright
Please be safe
Always within reach but never close enough
Always within reach but I'm never fast enough
I've watched a soul bleed out
Over and over
I felt my soul bleed out
I can't go on
And as I rode with you in the back of the ambulance
I stopped and I thought
Will I ever see you again
Will you ever open your fucking eyes
Each step I take is a balancing act
A reoccurring spate of heart attacks
Expecting the worst to come
Hoping you find the strength to carry on
Knife's edge
Knife's edge
I still remember every word you said
Knife's edge
Knife's edge
The weight is lifted along with all the dread
I was so drained
You wear your scars but you're still here breathing
My pulse is subdued
This was not in vain