Vaultry a letter to a dead friend

Dearest friend, where do I begin? I've been writing this for months and months and it never seems to end
There's always one more phrase, to take it's place
Where do I begin?
Where do I begin? I'm running from myself at the edge
Lighting fires in my lungs, to clear the smoke from my head
I always hate moments like this
Dearest friend, ever since you left, I've been trying to convince myself I shouldn't wish I'd written this any sooner
Cuz I'm still questioning if I dug up everything?
Where do I begin? I'm running from myself at the edge
Lighting fires in my lungs, to clear the smoke from my head
I always hate moments like this
Where do I begin?
No one ever wants to write this letter. God I hope I never have to write it again
I'm caught in a whirlwind of thoughts and you are at the centre
Where do I begin? I'm running from myself at the edge
Lighting fires in my lungs, to clear the smoke from my head
Would it have made it any easier?
And I hate that people have to ask if it was suicide, because they say people aren't supposed to die at 25
They said you could live forever if you really tried, But, you get what anybody gets, you get a lifetime