Wander not worthy

I put you on a pedestal, I don't know why
I watch you through a telescope with weary eyes
Blindly, I follow all you say
Hoping that you'll find yourself loving me someday
Don't leave me behind
I'm lost all the time
Now you've gone away
It hurts every day
I'll pretend
I'm the hero you're dreaming of
Take my hand
And we'll dance until I wake up
I try to speak before you go
But now I'm left here on my own again
Empty the blood from my veins
I'll never change
The flaws I can't control
I can't escape this fate
Or the monsters that call my name
Denial takes it's toll
Fears that I'll never get off my chest
Lost track of the reasons why I don't feel whole
Guess I'll never know
Seems like I'll never clean up my mess
Feels like they're trying to take apart my soul
But still I'm dreaming of a place to call home