Go home!
Go West!
Go back where you came from!
Oh, why did you ever leave Ohio?
A million kids just like you
Come to town every day
With stars in their eyes
They're going to conquer the city
They're going to grab off the Pulitzer prize
But it's a terrible pity
Because they're in for a bitter surprise
And their stories all follow one line
Like his
Like his
Like mine
Born in Duluth, natural writer
Published at seven, genius type
Wrote the school play, wrote the school paper
Summa cum laude, all of that tripe
Came to New York
Got on the staff here
This was my chance to be heard
And since then I haven't written a word
What a waste!
What a waste!
What a waste of money and time!
Man from Detroit
Wonderful artist
Went to Picasso
Pablo said, Wow!
Settled in France
Bought him a beret
Lived in Montmartre
Really learned how
Came to New York
Had an exhibit
Art critics made a big fuss
Now he paints those toothpaste ads on the bus
What a waste!
What a waste!
What a waste of money and time!
Girl from Mobile
Versatile actress
Tragic or comic
Any old play
Suffered and starved
Met Stanislavsky
He said the world would
Cheer her some day
Came to New York
Repertoire ready
Chekov's and Shakespeare's and Wilde's
Now they watch her flipping flapjacks at Childs
What a waste!
What a waste!
What a waste of money and time!
Kid from Cape Cod
Fisherman's family
Marvelous singer
Big baritone
Rented his boat
Paid for his lessons
Starved for his studies
Down to the bone
Came to New York
Aimed at the opera
Sing Rigoletto his wish
At the Fulton Market now he yells, Fish!
What a waste!
What a waste!
What a waste of money and
(Fish)
Go home!
Go West!
Go back where you came from!
Go home!